Friday, 15 January 2010

Don't Vote Vote Vote

With an election looming, here's the Dennis Potter method for getting rid of unwanted canvassers, from 'Vote Vote for Nigel Barton'

The woman on the doorstep who says she hasn't vote in 50 years, on asked whether she thought she 'ought' to:

"Ought? Ought" Did you say Ought? "There's too much ought, sonny. Ought to have a telly licence. Ought to have a dog licence. Ought to keep the hedge cut. Ought to pay the rates on time. Ought to wash your hands after using the lav. Ought to pay threepence for it too. Ought to got to church. Ought to stand for the national anthem. Ought to help the hungry. Ought to avoid the rush hour. Ought not to drink and drive. Ought to post early for Christmas. Ought to be thankful. And all the oughts is about money, sonny....and nobody says they ought to give me that."

..."I'm in sympathy with none of you. All promises now, ennit? Butter wouldn't melt in your mouths, would it? Then up go prices, up go rents, up goes the electricity, the gas, the coal, up go fags, and God knows what else. Right up, I know, oh I know all right. You can't kid me, sonny.
..."And I can't stop gassing no more. Got the dinner going. And I ought to get that ready, oughtn't I?"

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